What I learned from "I've learned"
Incorporating these reflections into our lives can help us focus on what truly matters, fostering deeper connections and a richer, more meaningful existence.
This excerpt is part of a longer piece in which Maya Angelou shares profound life lessons, reflecting on resilience, human connection, and the essence of true happiness.
I’VE LEARNED by Maya Angelou
I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
There are so many lessons here. It’s like Rudyard Kipling’s poem, “If.” I can read it again and again and always discover something new.
The part about the tangled Christmas tree lights reminds me of Will Ferrell’s quote: “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.”
“Making a living is not the same as making a life”—that’s powerful. We often focus on the rubber balls of work and money, forgetting about the glass balls of family, physical health, and mental health.
“You shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back”—what a great lesson in conversation and listening. Throw the ball back, ask questions, listen, and stop talking.
The last line, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel,” reminds me of David Brooks’ book, “The Road to Character.” Brooks contrasts “résumé virtues” and “eulogy virtues.” Résumé virtues are the skills and accomplishments you list on your CV, focusing on external success. Eulogy virtues, however, are the deeper qualities like kindness, bravery, and integrity—traits often highlighted at your funeral. Modern society places too much emphasis on résumé virtues at the expense of developing eulogy virtues, which truly define our character and legacy.
Building these lessons into our lives can help us focus on what truly matters.